insensitivity.

Today I read this with total disbelief.

mel …
napew ngan mummy ko ?
dah pass away ke ?
ko biar betol …. ?

Tak, aku main-main je. (????)
Huh.

Even when I asked Lene how she would respond to that if she were in my place and she went, “I don’t have friends as stupid as that.”

To that person, it WAS stupid.

xoxo

maybe.

I’m supposed to be shedding the pounds yet I’m pigging out like nobody’s business. I seemed to have gained a kilogram when I weighed myself after breaking fast just now. If I go on like this, I don’t think I’d be able to fit into the kebaya I just bought. Sigh.

My Mandarin sketch is on Monday, not really prepared yet. I hope I won’t dissapoint Zana and Nanab.

The bracelet Atia gave to me broke last Wednesday. Sad huh? 😦

Pimples are getting worse. This is bad, really bad. Maybe it’s the stress? No, maybe I’m just destined to have bad skin for the rest of my life. Depresses me a lot. So drama, yes I know. But it’s a fact.

My hair needs a trim. And maybe a new shade? I think a fresh new look might be able to lift up my spirits a bit. Maybe.

Feli and Bryan, I watched the HIDEO video. It seemed as though Beyonce was experiencing some serious manic depression symptoms or something. Crazy woman. Shouting like nobody’s business some more.

Lene, remember this, “Some people think they’re all that, but they’re just a copycat.” Bodoh punya orang kan? Jong-ang. 😆

I have a question, how do you put the sparks back into your relationship:?:

xoxo

excalibur?

Baby, I got this from you. 🙂

Excalibur Traits and Tendencies: Excalibur couples may battle just as much as other couples (and participate in more than their fair share of public huffs), but they look so good together, it outweighs any other deficiencies they may share. It isn’t that they’re classically good-looking, or similarly sized (though certainly both those pairings are permissible). It’s more that the aesthetic chord they strike satisfies in profound ways. Like gorgeously plated food or song filled with unusual harmonies, the wan and freckled hand-in-hand with the tragically tan, the pigeon-toed with the duck-walkers, these Excalibur couples achieve such perfection in their pairing that reminds the world that anything is possible. 

Comfort Zone: Excalibur is in the Wind pose family. Other Wind poses you might enjoy include Softserve Swirl and The Ventriloquist.

Health Note: An unexpected rash or orthopedic adjustment can sometimes lead an Excalibur couple to fall out of balance. Physical adjustments may need to be made, or an entirely new pose could even be in order.

Find your own pose!

xoxo

facade.

I’m having a terrible runny nose. Terrible.

I hate Beyonce’s Dejavu. Bodoh punya lagu.

I miss my friends. All of you.

Daddy cried yesterday.

I am not really over things yet. I guess some people just don’t understand that.

And I suck at being disciplined.

xoxo

time hasn’t healed.

It has been a month now.

😥

xoxo

nawaitu.

Hello, I had Nasi Lemak with chicken from the pasar malam just now. Nyum!

It’s a good thing fasting starts tomorrow.

Oh, Lene had Cadbury Bytes last night. CADBURY. Haha.

I’ll be cooking for sahur in a short while.

This sure ain’t the same without you, Mummy. 😥

xoxo

small sized.

Daddy, Lene and I went to Semua House today. Lene and I each bought a kebaya.

I’m tired. And I’m hungry.

Will be going to the pasar malam after Maghrib. I want kebab. And chicken. And chicken. And more chicken. Can I just have one whole roast chicken to myself?

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak and Happy Fasting to all fellow Muslim friends.

xoxo

the bad week.

This has been one hell of a week.

I guess the worst thing that had happened was Bobo was stolen last Wednesday! Bobo is Papa’s bike to those of you who don’t know. Yes, OMFG! Hope the stupid fucking people responsible will rot in hell! Fuck.

😥

Both tests didn’t go so well. Sigh.

I need a new pencil.

The only good thing that came out of this week is the fact that I am not disloyal anymore. Thank you Faizal. Thank you Papa.

Oh, and Alice will be coming down to work here. Yeay!

Suki si comel won OIAM! One million ringgit okay. Wow! Mummy would have been happy. She liked Suki. 😦

But I think Faizal’s medley performance was splendid. Deserved the standing ovation. Okay, I’m pathetic kan, tengok OIAM. Well, Mummy loved to watch it. 😦

xoxo

would you call me your best friend?

I have this feeling as though I have not been a good friend. TO EVERYONE. Sigh.

😦

Pharmacognosy is a  S T U P I D  subject! (I refuse to admit that I am the one who’s stupid.)

I have sinned. He read the messages. I’m confused now. What shall I do?

xoxo

Protected: that means he loves you.

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disloyalty.

I think I should be able to pass the two tests I took last week. Aamin. 🙂

Had my blood glucose checked last Thursday and I didn’t like the value read on the monitor. 6.7. Yeah, it’s still within the normal range but all these times it has been below 5.0. I guess now I should really cut down on my sugar intake. Sigh. This is gonna be tough. I have a gigantic sugar tooth.

The more I look at Nicole Richie, the more I wanna look as skinny as her. I know this might sound sick, but that’s how I actually feel. She weighs 88 lbs right now, which is equivalent to 39 kgs. I’ll be the happiest person in the world if I’d be able to weigh around 40 kgs. That’s almost 8 kgs to shed. *crossing fingers*

Spent the whole day at Aunty Maziey’s place yesterday. In the morning, they had a doa selamat for Faiz. Daddy went back home after lunch, but I stayed until around 10pm. Hung around with the cousins. Then Faizal took me back home to change, and I followed him to Sunway Pyramid to watch him play ice hockey. Pretty cool. Went for a drink after that and was back around 5 am. I was as sleepy as hell, but I was happy. I had a great time. 🙂

It’s sad I didn’t snap any photos. That’s so not like me!

This morning Daddy, Lene and I left for Seremban at around 7.30 am, had tahlil for arwah Atok and Uncle Zul.

Pharmacognosy test this Tuesday and a Respiratory System test on Thursday. I’m getting sick of tests already.

I’m down with the flu right now. Maybe I was out too late last night. Or maybe it’s the lack of sleep.

My own disloyalty is making me think.

xoxo

cats can get feline immunodeficiency virus (FIV) disease.

It has been 21 hours since I last cried. That’s gotta be a good thing, right?

But, on the other hand, my mood has been quite volatile today. One minute I’m reading my notes and making stupid jokes with Papa and in another minute I’m raising my voice at everything he does and says. It’s like every little freaking thing annoys me right now.

I’m pretty sure it’s PMS. Well, at least I hope it is.

My Veterinary Pharmacy is tomorrow and I have amazingly finished studying for it. Studying as in reading all my notes. Once. 😀

I have my Gastrointestinal Pharmacotherapeutics test this Friday. Haven’t started on that one yet. Hope I have enough time.

A friend of mine actually asked me, “Ayah Lissa sedih gak ke??”. OH MY GOD.

I have terrible insecurities when it comes to my relationship. Just had to let that out.

xoxo

Protected: kau diam.

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my hero.

Yesterday morning when everyone was in a hurry to go to class, the stupid front door could not be opened. My housemates tried everything, until the knob actually came off. But the door was still stuck.

Then luckily, Papa came to the rescue, he kicked the door just the way we always watch heroes do in action movies (but Papa had to actually kick it several times la. 😛 ) until the door finally broke open.

Even the kids from the school across the road cheered as they witnessed Papa’s heroic rescue! 😛

Gila je kan. Papa was late for class because of that.

Papa, my hero! 😀

Then today, I broke down in class. I just had to skip the afternoon classes. Papa took me home, but on the way he told me he needed to go to the bank. In my heart I was like, “Can’t you at least send me home first, then go to the bank. Aku tengah sedih ni. Sheesh.” But he actually brought me to a cendol stall just because he knew I was craving for more cendol. Auww, I thought that was just so damn sweet of him! He actually made me smile for a while. (Although the cendol was not so nice. 😛 )

I love my Papa.

xoxo

longing for seclusion.

I have been feeling so very down for the past three days.

Been crying worse than a baby. My eyes are swollen. I look like some kind of a fish now.

My chest hurts. Sebak memanjang.

Just when I thought things cannot be any worse, today I sat for the toughest Mandarin test ever (for me la).

I don’t know whether I can do this.

xoxo

living without you.

I don’t think I can do this.

It’s too excruciating.

Help.

my five factor personality profile.

Since the only thing I understand from reading my Pharmacognosy notes is the definition of Pharmacognosy (yes, ONLY the definition.) and I just simply couldn’t stand looking at the damn notes anymore, I did this. Got it off someone‘s blog. =)

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You’re not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your “down time.” Conscientiousness: You have low conscientiousness. Impulsive and off the wall, you don’t take life too seriously. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions. Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it’s difficult for you to get important things done. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you’re skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It’s easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You’re a pretty conservative person, and you favor what’s socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty’s sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

Take The Five Factor Personality Test

I have high neuroticism and low agreeableness okay, Please Stay Away. 😛

I would have to agree on the part that says I “tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. You’re either flying very high or flying very low.”
That is so true. Sometimes I become like a fucking crazy woman, emo semacam and sometimes tak nak layan orang tiba-tiba only.

I miss my Papa. I miss Akey. I miss Feli. I miss Yus.

Yus called from Sydney just now, she’ll be back for good in December. 15 December to be exact. Yeay!

I had 15 pieces of Spicy Chicken McNuggets just now, along with McFlurry M&M’s. It was ‘guiltily satisfying’. Sigh.

xoxo

touching lives.

I would like to thank Gan for his sweet words about Mummy in one of his posts.

It’s good to know that there are other people who have fond memories of Mummy too. I hope they will always remember Mummy that way.

Al-Fatihah.

xoxo

old newspaper.

We had Bulgogi Jungsik for dinner today. I actually finished the whole bowl of my bulgogi. I even wanted to have ice cream but my wish was not granted. (Okay, I know we can’t always have everything we want):razz:

Daddy is so comel. =)

I can’t possibly lose weight if I continue to stuff myself like this. Sigh.

Or maybe my weight has gone plateau at 48 kgs. Will the scale ever show 43 kgs when I step on it??

I need want breast reduction surgery. Can ah?

It’s already gonna be Thursday and I haven’t studied even a little bit for my tests next week. This is crazy. I cannot continue like this. This laziness. Sleepiness. Internet-ness. DVD-ness. *shakes head*

I am feeling guilty towards Papa. He brought me to Shah Alam yesterday morning just to get my notes then we headed to OU. But after only an hour of walking around and right after having KFC, I told him I wanted to go home. I could tell by the look on his face that he was taken aback and dissapointed because I told him I could stay out until around 3pm (as Bryan, Barath and Uncle Robert and family were coming over at 4pm). But I just felt that I shouldn’t be out. There was this awkwardness and feelings as though I was in the wrong and I should be back home with my family. All I could think of was Daddy. And of course, Mummy. And that I wanted to be at home.

What’s wrong with me? Sigh.

I’m sorry Sayang. 😦

Look what Daddy found in Mummy’s room today.

My passport when I was two years old! =)

There’s a huge huge huge pile of old newspapers right in front of our door. I don’t know when we’ll be able to sell all of them off as Mummy always reminded us not to sell all at once. Rugi. “Sell little by little.” 😛

We’re planning on switching to Celcom. We as in the whole family. Hotlink is getting on our nerves right now. Hmph.

xoxo

remember 1A3?

Look what I found while clearing up Mummy’s room two nights ago.

Click to enlarge lah kan, as always. You see, Mummy kept this for nine years okay. As you can see she even highlighted Gan’s, Akey’s (the bestest friend) and my names. It was so that she wouldn’t forget to pay attention when our names were called. Sigh.
And that’s how long our friendship is kan Gan? 🙂

This was Mummy’s price list for cakes, cookies etc. 😦

Saya kerinduan yang teramat sangat.

xoxo