the candy man’s birthday!

The paper was sickening. It goes without saying.
I blame myself though.

The siblings and I treated Daddy to dinner just now. Yong Tau Foo at Wangsa Maju. He turns 62 tomorrow!
I love my Daddy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR CANDY MAN !

Marc just came back from sending Linn, (the girlfriend) home. He has not been so well these past few days, with diarrhea and vomitting. His leg’s not better yet too. Sigh. He’ll be going back to Segamat tomorrow.

A friend of mine told me she hates Raya songs. “It’s either they’re too sad or too happy gitu.”

Next paper is this Friday. Gastrointestinal Tract Diseases and Pharmacotherapeutics. I’m not gonna screw this one up too. Meeting Amyrah for lunch on that day, hopefully.

I miss Papa. We only met for a while just now. He has to study, paper starts this Thursday. Fucking Organic fucking Chemistry.
Just a while ago, he smsed asking, “Kenapa notes Weber ni susah sangat nak faham bucuk?” and I replied, “Memang macam tu.”
Haha. Not much of a help am I?

“Saya tak tunaikan apa yang saya janjikan pada awak tengah hari tadi.”
“Malam nanti saya makan, saya janji.”
Saya terluka.

Ignore that, people.

I’m hungry and my back hurts.

xoxo

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the little secret.

What if the only thing that troubles you about doing something is how bad you are gonna disappoint certain people and how some others might perceive you?

The road to failure is paved with excuses.

xoxo

the candy man.

In the kitchen.

Daddy : What are you doing? Oh, you’re filling up my flask for me! That’s very kind of you.

Me : Daddy, I always fill up your flask for you, now only you say I’m kind kind all la.

Daddy : You will go to heaven for this.

Me : (Eyes popped out) Amiiinnnn !

🙂

xoxo

take five.

Fried Coke anyone?

xoxo

on giving up.

Barath came over with Bryan on Friday evening to take a look at what’s wrong with the PC upstairs and my notebook.
And yesterday the notebook was reformatted by Barath. Thank you my dear. Hope there’ll be no problems after this.

Pharmacognosy is giving me a serious headache.

I don’t feel so good.
In fact I feel terrible.
Why am I the way I am?

xoxo

absurd.

Why am I being so bitchy?

He hasn’t lied since.

This is paranoia.

xoxo

for those who are interested..

Some Raya and the night out photos are uploaded here.

xoxo

maaf (?) dan batin.

The London Almond cookies Baby brought the other day are so much more tastier than the ones Aunty Ann bought for us from KLCC. It’s not her fault la, I was the one going, “I heard people say this *******’s one sedap!”. Not sedap at all okay. It even looks horrible.

Nothing beats Mummy’s cookies though. Not even close.

Second day of Raya was spent at Aunty Maziey’s place. Like every other year. But this year it was a pretty emotionally disturbing one. Daddy started to cry. Almost non stop. Then as usual, I must also cry. He just couldn’t stand it. That’s what he said.
It was so depressing. A relative of ours told Daddy not to worry. He’s not worried.
“It’s not worry. I cannot stop my thoughts. I’ve been with your Mummy for 25 years, almost half of my life. Half of Mummy’s life.”
It broke my heart to hear those words coming out from Daddy’s mouth. 😥
Daddy went back home a bit earlier than we did.
Aunty Maziey was pretty insistent that we (the siblings) stayed a little longer. So we did.
It was fun hanging out with the cousins, but my heart was not at peace. I’m sure Marc and Lene were feeling the same way too.
Gosh, it was one hell of a day!

Not to mention my stomach was not behaving itself on that day. I had diarrhea earlier in the morning and my stomach continued to ache the whole freaking day! Gila.

Oh dear, Marc just came back from futsal and he sprained his leg! It looks pretty bad. Got him some ice to put on it.

Yesterday was a whole different story.
Went to KLCC with Lene in the morning. Looked for mittens for my subconscious- scratching (I scratch myself when I’m asleep, worsen my eczema and actually wound myself) condition but they were too pricey.

Had dinner at Itallianies with the Gombak Gang. Celebrated Navin and Gan’s birthdays. Oh, and mine too. Haha. It was like the so overly belated birthday celebration. Okay, so I’m getting all my grammar wrong here. Who cares. I was Pikachu! On the cake I mean. Gan and Navin were these dragons, which I thought looked more like crocodiles. But Barath really looks at things from a ‘different’ perspective, he said thought they were lions. 😆
We played pool and bowling right after dinner. We talked and laughed. Joked and laughed. Laughed and laughed. And laughed. I was hysterical. Jumping here and there. Screaming and laughing like a hyena. There were times when I would realize how I ‘badly’ I was behaving and tell myself to tone down. But of course, I didn’t. I think I should have lost at least a kilogram with all the jumping around. Fat hopes. All in all, it was a great night. 🙂

So sayang that Feli and Cheryl were not there as well.
Will upload photos when I have the time and when I get the rest of the photos from Dayana.

I realized who my true friends are today. And that some people will never change and are not worth your penny and time at all. I was stood up by a so called best friend ex best friend this morning. Hello, you can go and eat shit okay?

Words cannot express how much I miss Akey. 😦
Haih.

Gotta study. Exam next Tuesday. Pharmacognosy. Bluwek!

xoxo

awkward silence.

Okay, so today’s Raya. I’m stuffed with ketupat, lemang and rendang. And I’m feeling a bit under the weather. Cough’s not getting better. Runny nose is not as terrible as this afternoon though. I’m sure the spicy food I had was of no help at all for my throat. I think I overdosed myself with antihistamines. Not good, not good.

Today was exhausting, went to visit Mummy’s grave after Raya prayers then headed to Nilai where Mummy’s best friend, Aunty Zainah’s place is. We go there every year since I was a baby, it’s sort of like our kampung. The whole family broke down. It was sad. Really sad.
Then we were off to Atok’s grave in Seremban. The weather was hot, and I was perspiring like a pig. We all were.

Somehow in the car I kept thinking that Mummy was waiting for us at home.
When it hit me, it hit me bad. 😦

Baby came over a while ago , with her friends, Justine, Alma and Adlan. She brought ketupat and rendang. 🙂
I’m such a lousy host.
I forgot to serve the cake Aunty Ann bought. *knocks head*
Her friends are as tiny as her. I felt like a giant taking a photo with a bunch of midgets little people! 😛
I so need to lose weight.

L-R: Justine, Alma, The Fat One, Baby, Lene.

Thanks for coming over Baby. I’m sorry if it was such a bore. 😛

Lene and I made full use of the tripod today while waiting for Baby to arrive. 😀

And mind you, this is only ONE of the tonnes of photos we took. 😛

Poor Daddy. He must be feeling it really bad, especially at this time. He talked a lot when Baby and friends were here. I guess he’s lonely. He needs company. Someone he can talk to. Like Mummy used to. It’s depressing to just even look at him. 😥

This year’s Raya is so heartbreaking. Too many reminiscences. It’s just too much for me to handle.

I’d have to go to bed now. Need to get some rest and get better. Though I fall ill like practically all the time, I still hate being sick.

xoxo

raya mode off.

I hate it if people bug me when I’m cooking. I cook my way. Not yours. If nak banyak cakap, please do the cooking yourself.
And I shall say it again, I hate it if I get bugged when I’m cooking!

Things are so different. Normally at this time of the year, my tummy would be filled with Mummy’s London Almond cookies that I would steal from the kitchen. She hides it, but my tummy finds it. Nobody made cookies like she did. Nobody. No more Mummy’s rendang. We would always break fast with her rendang the night before raya. And the ketupat will be cooking in the pots. None of that too this time around.

This is not good.

I’m down with flu. Sigh.

Gombak Gang! We have to get together. 😦

Salam Aidilfitri.
Maaf Zahir Batin.

p/s: We have nothing to serve guests this year. But that doesn’t mean you people can’t come over, okay? Thank you and love you all.

xoxo

toki toki boom!

My head’s on the verge of exploding. That’s exactly how painful it is right now.

I don’t want to Raya.
TAK NAK.

This headache’s not wearing off.

Now I feel nauseated.
Food, please stay away.

I need exercise.

What happened to The Pledge? 😦

xoxo

over reacting..

Happy Deepavali everyone.

I’m back home, currently cooking for sahur, blogging and chatting with a few friends. I’m multi-tasking! It’s good exercise I suppose, running here and there. Considering the fact that I haven’t been working out for the past month. One whole month! I feel so sluggish.
Went for buka at Kak Siti’s place with the family. I’m puffed up.

Aunty Ann called. She wants to meet Marc, Lene and I this Monday morning. So we’ll be going. I don’t really know what to say to her. How to react? Should I cry my heart out? Can I? Should I just pretend I’m okay?

Raya’s just a couple of days away. Somehow I don’t feel like Raya-ing. Can we just like scrape Raya off this year? Thoughts of ketupat, lemang and rendang don’t entice me at all right now. Unlike the years before.

I feel so bad for not being able to be there for a very close friend of mine. It feels even worse to not know what words to say to make that person feel better. Dear Gan, I’m sorry. Be strong. I love you. *hugs*

I feel cheap and useless now thanks to you, ******. I will never feel the same way towards you anymore.

Papa forgot to bring his charger home. Hate it when that happens. Cannot sms a lot. Have to save the battery. Bla bla bla.

I’ve gotta go cook rice now. Then I’m off to bed. Or maybe I’ll take a shower before that. I feel sticky.

Oh, Papa just found his adaptor for the Nokia charger. That’s a relief.

Okay then, goodnight people.

xoxo

noah and allie.

I had the most awful tasting wantan noodles today. Yucks!

Finally watched The Notebook. It was great.

Enjoyed The Prestige with Papa.

My tummy has not been feeling so good these past two days. 😦

xoxo

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forging it.

This morning I spent almost two hours at the bank settling the problem about my ATM card. I actually forgot the signature I used to open my Public Bank account, I assumed it was the current one I have been using for years now. Turned out I was wrong. It was the one I used before this one. Wayyyyyy before this one. The ugly one. Haih. Fortunately the customer service officer was sweet and understanding and helped me out in ‘forging’ my own old signature. 😀

I had fried rice for buka. Yes, rice. With Nasi Lemak’s sambal and a fried egg. I think that’s why I’m down with diarrhea right now.

Feel a sore throat coming.

I want more mac and cheese.

xoxo

all set !

I think I’m all set for the test tomorrow. I think. And hope.

I even completed today’s  Pharmacognosy lab report and my Pharmaceutical Engineering assignment which is due this Friday.

🙂

Tummy ache right now.

There’s something wrong with my Public Bank ATM card, and I’m short of cash already. 😦

I’m missing Mr Adam Bustamam.

Sigh.

xoxo

i love smilies.

I’m fasting today.

And am in a bit of a cheerful mood. Owing to the fact that I think I did pretty good for my Mandarin Oral this morning. Yes, perasan. I don’t care, I still think I did good. And the Laoshi (lecturer) was super nice! I liked her a lot! She made me feel all comfortable, smiling non-stop and I managed to answer all the questions in a breeze. She made me smile all the way back home. Yeay ! 🙂

I had KFC for buka puasa. Nyum.
Papa said today that I have slimmed down a bit compared to last week. But it was actually also him who didn’t wanna admit I put on a bit fat last week . Haih.
You see, I can kembang kuncup in just a week. 😆
Kembang a bit, starve myself. Kuncup a bit, eat.
I know I’m endangering my own body like this. Hmm, what to do.

Beyonce’s Irreplaceable is playing over and over my head. I think I kinda like that song. To the left to the left. 😛
And there’s no unnecessary screaming-her-lungs-out syndrome and manic depression symptoms. That’s what’s most important. 😀

Chevelle’s Panic Prone is also very addictive. Thanks Gan!

Haven’t gone through everything I need to go through for this Wednesday’s test. I have lab tomorrow. What a drag!

Life can be a whole lot better and happier place without all the pessimism, self criticism and negative emotions. 🙂

“Long, you shouldn’t put yourself down all the time.” Okay, Lene, I’ll try. 🙂

I happen to use a lot of smilies kan? Serabut je.

xoxo

the pledge.

Had a night out with Lene, Cheryl and Dayana. At Quan’s, Ampang. It was nice. 🙂
Had Grilled Chicken with black pepper sauce and a super delicious chocolate milkshake !
I love my girlfriends.

I deleted the folder. Here’s to a brand new me. 🙂

Oh, and Baby, I love you too. 🙂

xoxo

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